La Despedida of Day of the Dead: A Farewell to our Loved Ones
The days leading up to and closing out the month of November are filled with bustle and energy for the Janal Pixan (Maya for Día de Muertos and Day of the Dead) celebrations in the Yucatán Peninsula. The air had a smoky scent from small piles of burning organic yard waste from people deep cleaning their homes. Walking through neighborhoods, you can hear the thwacking of a machete as the chapeando (clearing of weeds and overgrown brush) commences. The hum of washing machines floats from yards, and clotheslines are full. Sometimes you can spot someone sweeping with a giant palm leaf broom outside their front door.
November is when many in the Yucatán Peninsula welcome the souls of their departed loved ones for a month-long stay in their homes to celebrate Janal Pixan. The traditions surrounding the first days of November for Día de Muertos are well known, as they have gained a foothold in circles outside of Mexico. However, in the Zona Maya of Quintana Roo, Día de Muertos is known in Maya as Janal Pixan /hanál pishán, and loved ones stay for the full month. There are certain traditions that differentiate their arrival from their Despedida (farewell) at the end of November, with different regions of the peninsula having their own special celebrations.
The ways in which we honor transitions often have a cyclical approach, literally bringing events full circle. In both the bienvenida (welcome) and despedida (farewell), building altars and lighting candles are a way of welcoming the souls home as well as sending them on their way back to the otherworld. The Balam May family, one of Na’atik’s homestays, gathers large stones to mark the path for the souls to and from the altar, coating them in ash to make the path more visible. Candles (in some households, one for each departed family member) might line the path or be placed on the walls of the house as another way to guide the souls in their journey.
Food is a central aspect of the despidida. Both at the beginning and end of the month, families make chocolate drinks and dulce de calabaza (candied pumpkin) as an ofrenda (offering) on the altar to their loved ones. The main dishes are various. Nestor Cituk Tuz, from Tihosuco, a town an hour northwest of Carrillo, tells how in the first couple of weeks leading up to when the souls of relatives arrive, it’s customary to offer soups. The rationale is that soups are messy; you need to have a place to settle in and get cleaned up.
Tamales are offered. Food that is compact, hand-held, and travels well is important for staying clean and well-fed on the journey back to the world of souls. Isabel Sánchez Ku, Na’atik’s cooking class teacher, points out that the journey is a long one so we must make tamales in portions big enough to sustain their loved ones until their return to the world of living the following year. Doña Fernanda, the Balam May matriarch, opted to make tamales the generous size of a dinner plate.
The despedida has a slightly darker side for some. In general, during the rezos (prayers--for most, this is the Catholic rosary) that welcome and bid farewell to souls. It’s considered of utmost importance to guard children and make sure they aren’t unattended. With the arrival, if children are scampering about, they might bump into or trip over a soul trying to find their way to their family.
During the farewell, young children also need to be watched because all souls are departing their loved ones’ homes around the same time. According to Isabel’s mother, if you don’t pay attention, a sinister soul might find their way into your home and take an unattended child with them along on their journey or possess them as they cross paths. For this reason, some people tie a red string around their childrens’ wrists; a charm to keep them safe.
Another tradition at the beginning of November to prepare for Day of the Dead is that of leaving fresh linens and towels out for the souls’ arrival. This makes loved ones feel welcome. There also comes a time for them to leave, and many cultures have their way of diplomatically indicating this (“Well, will you look at the time!” or “I better get started on all these dishes”). Na’atik Spanish teacher, Cesar Manrique, whose family is from Mérida in the state of Yucatán, mentions that some will start sweeping the entrance of the house to politely usher their beloveds out hasta la próxima.
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